year2006

2007-05-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

Im not going to be affected by my mum say.
God and Christianity is good but it depend on how every individual carry it out.
Look at Sun Ho, she had open up school after school in China and is the "Ambassador of Love" in China but yet she's a Singaporean. That's the power of God and she's living a Christ-like life.

When I grow up, Im going to marry a man from church. My boyfriend will nvr prosecute me being a Christian because he must also be one and also be frm heart of God church.

2007-05-11T00:52:00.000+08:00

Hello World! hahs, Im back to blogging now because I've some time now.
Im supposed to be fast aslp actually but my hair is wet and im lazy to use the hair dryer.
What's more? I've listening compre papers tml. hahs. That's the paper that I always fall aslp ever since pri sch.

Being zone admin has been such fun and stress! hahs.
Oh btw, if you dont knw, im the a zone admin now since a few weeks ago. hahs.
I've already managed to rmb two cgls' phone number other than Ruoen's cos I rmb hers since dont knw how long ago.
Anw, my mum thinks that Andrew is my boyfriend now because he called me the other day when I was in the living room using the ethernet line and he called me.
I was like:" Hello Andrew?" when i picked up the phone and she turns to look at me. hahs.
My mum always think that I insisted on going church because I've a boyfriend in church. yarlah. my lover is Jesus.

Trials and tribulation will surely come in our way but I knw I'm in God's perfect plan.
For the past few weeks, God has been revealing alot of things to me. hahs.
I'm going to mug very hard this year and get into BMS/BLT in Ngee Ann Poly. hahs.
oh, ytd I overheard the ushers introducing themselves. When Miaowguan says that he's frm NP, someone went NP=No Poly. hahs.
Anw, BLT is the real cause I wna go and that's the place that God wants me to be at.
I cant wait for the future!
Anw, church is gna move soon and Im on usher for the first svc in the new premise.
However, Im going overseas. Im forced to go okay. I really dont want to go because that's emerge weekend and I've been waiting this big day to come. siannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
The presence of God on that day will be like what Pastors have always been telling us and Im gng to miss it.
I know that the devil is trying to make miss out on everything to stumble me but I'll definately pull thru this tough year.
Ever since the first day I ever start fighting PO, I always believe that if God out me thru a test, He will give me the ability to do. It's just if I wna do it or not.
I can't wait for O level to finish and Im gng to work in my dad's company next yr if there's no unforeseen circumstances. His office is super near new church premise, 15 mins bus trip.

2007-05-05T01:54:00.000+08:00

Hello world!!!!

Im super hungry now because the chicken wing auntie cheated my feelings.

Now I feel like eating instant noodle with eggs or roti prata but not a good time luh.

Anw, Im doing my tuition hmwrk now because I collated attendance just now. Thanks to Mr. Raharjo.

Actually Im quite braindead now cos I woke up at 6am ytd morning.

And my mum is not going to work later, I shall find a way to go out.

2007-05-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

Mr Lee came to talk to me today when I was reading chinese newspaper right before an english exams, I think that was how he wna strike that conversation.

Anw, he is going to change the way he conduct his lesson in consideration of my feedback. hahs. Im so dua pai. HA

He also tell me to do more physics exercise at home and ask him questions in class. Btw, I only knw one chpt of my physics when exams is tml. hahs. Will really study later.

He also tell him to look for him if I've any questions or need help. hahs.

Mrs Leong said the same thing to me earlier. I knw what they mean, they wants me to open up to them. hahs. I wont purposely go to look for them to talk to them, like funny sia. And I got my own leader to talk to if I need help outside the academic thing.

I know what the teachers mean everytime they talk to me and I knw that they can feel that Im different frm the other students in class. And most of the time I think at a more mature level and do things they'll nvr dare to.

I can see that because Ms Moo always make me help her carry books to staff room just to find a chance to chat with me, she nvr do that to other students.

I know the teachers see me as a probamatic student because when they do something unreasonable, I'll stand up for that person - I think this applies to AWK only.

Anw, Im having facial mask on my face right now, that's why I came online to type this post.

The mask is drying up alrdy so I better go wash it away. Will complete this post when Im really freeee.

2007-05-02T15:04:00.000+08:00

Exams gives you alot more freetime. hahs.

Im eating my lunch now, since 2.00pm.

This week has been quite a bad week for a start.

On Monday, I went down to Khatib to study with the CG + Cheryl & Jiaxin but did nothing except new friend list.

I saw something on the YA I shldnt have even see at all.

After that I cutted the base of my feet unknowingly, probably when I was playing badminton with Leon. We were playing badminton and frisbee instead of bball when we said we wna play bball. hahs.

On Tuesday, I decided to try out another salon cos my mum say it's quite good and the stupid hairstylist cant understand what I mean. Slanted fringe become curved fridge, same style also cant cut and he keeps telling me he is cutting it slant. Now I look like Sec 1 or 2. Probably the hairstylist has been cutting hairs for twits, anw, he actually leave my fringe like one patch but I told me to cut the volume away. Im sososo irritated with my new hairstyle now. I'll go back to my old salon the next time, usually their customer are working adults so they wont cut hairstyles that look like twits.

And today, I feel aslp during my amaths paper. hahs. Luckily the teacher woke me up.

In the morning, I was rushing for bus and did not see Chekyeow, if not can take same bus. hahs. He called me when I just board 166, he was at the next lane waiting for 169 which is just behind 166. I wasted $1.80 on bus also because I forget to buy concession and I realised it only when I was at Srgn after sch. The optimist also wasted my time, he took the wrong degree for my contacts and I've to go down to collect it again tml which means waste my time and I've to wear specs to sch tml cos Im alrdy wearing expired contacts.

2007-05-01T02:38:00.000+08:00

I'll just keep standing here.

I wont mind even if I've to sacrifice meal after meal because Jesus is my true love.

No matter how much I give, I could nvr make up to Jesus dying on the cross for all my sins.

Im going to be a radical Christian for all my life.

2007-04-29T01:05:00.000+08:00

Hi all, mid-years is here alrdy and Im not not very prepared but I'll study super hard because I've study rule alrdy. hahs.

Anw, 5 more mths to O levels and 6 more months to freedom!

2007-04-23T20:41:00.001+08:00

I wish school will start at 8pm daily so I'll have more time to slp. hahs.

Anw, this post is for fun only, just to update.

All the kpos will say so sian.

2007-04-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

I feel like Im fighting PO all over again.

The devil is a sore loser, like sissy sia.

Fight me with all ur might and I'll fight you with God's power.

Im seriously lacking my beauty sleepppppppppppp.

But i think its worth it.

2007-04-18T18:25:00.000+08:00

There is nothing in this world do which You can be compared

School ends at 4.30pm today and of course Im super tired and I've alot of things to do.

I got to do my facial mask today before mum nags.

Hahs, bye! Its homework time.

2007-04-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

Families broken, hearts shattered.

Take this generation with You Lord.

2007-04-17T17:43:00.000+08:00

The week is passing super fast with long sch hours, seems like I dont really have much time for myself.

School is super super super boring, the earliest time that I can leave sch is 3pm.

And Im super duper full now after eating my lunch cum dinner.

I think one meal I eat can last me for 6hrs or more, hahs, save alot of money. hahs.

2007-04-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

DISCIPLINE! DISCIPLINE! DISCIPLINE!

Hahs, to get things done quick is abt discipline man.

It's madness, 15 hours of study rule plus everyday supplementary lessons plus tons of homework and other stuffs.

I cant wait for this mugging year to end. And I'll be working part-time in my dad's office next yr before sch starts.

Wah, I feel like slping now.

I can only get my sim card on Tuesday, super sian. The stupid Singtel person dont want to let me collect it at Hello shop, must deliver to my house and tml I wont be at home until 8pm.

I hate prepaid card!

I think Im really short of cash sia which is leading me to dieting cos no money to eat. I've lost 0.7kg ever since the Easter week cos I got no money to eat lunch and my appetite is smaller.

I think I can lose 2kg by June hols, hahs. What nonsense.

Praying, Fasting, Giving.

BF coming up soon.

2007-04-12T12:45:00.000+08:00

I believe in miracles

Cos I believe in You

Again and Again. The devil is a sore loser. hahs.

2007-04-08T23:24:00.000+08:00

STUDY RULE!!

starts tomorrow.

hahs. mugging and mugging and mugging, all to glorify God.

Im going to go home straight after sch everyday to do homework and study, Im a cool nerd.

I'll be not free everyday other than doing things related to church and God. hahs

L1R5 = 15 for mid-years.

2007-04-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY EASTER DAY!

I knw its not easter yet but we're in the weekend of easter. Isnt it just so amazing?

Jesus died for us 2000 years ago on the cross.

We got nails as a momento during svc though I havent got mine cos I was ushering.

I'll tell you more abt svc tml if Im free cos the ushers were doing stuffs when all of you guys are inside enjoying the sermon and presence of God.

Anw, ushering is so fun today. Jacky Gangyuan Ahchai so nonsense and funny.

My legs are super tired. Yilin and me didnt eat with the cg today cos we were clearing up and we missed Yongjie's bday celebration.

I wna eat frozen mango yoghurt frm Swensens!

2007-04-05T15:37:00.000+08:00

Our God is an awesome God

He reigns

From heaven above

With wisdom power and love

Our God is an awesome God

Mango juice is nice! It makes you feel full when you're fasting. hahs

I love fasting esp the satisfactory feeling after breaking fast.

Im talking to Tracy using video call now. so funny can.

2007-04-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

Haha, Im supposed to be in bed now.

But I havent do my BRP yet and Im here alrdy.

I'll do it after this blog cos I need to drink the stupid cough syrup before I go into my room. hahs.

If you still cant get what Im doing now, Im procrastinating.

I hate the cough syrup and the stupid pills.

I feel like gulping them down all at one go (Im not suicidal for ur info) cos Im just to lazy to take them one by one. hahs.

Im so looking forward to the weekends though it means I've to find excuses to get out.

My idiotic sister finally decided to come back to church after giving Nelson one thousand million stupid excuses, hope she dont back out last min like how she used to or she bring her stead along.

Well, in any case, I'll still be in church even if she dont like it.

I feel like eating my house up now. Im on a fast and yet my mum keep telling me to eat this and that. Luckily they were all fruits other than the daily compulsory breakfast.

Im so excited abt this weekend cos it's Good Friday, Ivan gna tell me something abt cg restructure, peope frm my sch gna come, my sister gna come and it's Yongjie's bday(this is not exciting though). hahs.

Okay, I think I shld shut up and start moving now.

2007-04-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

Wah piang eh! I think Im too attractive for the devil alrdy.

Today was such a super great day until I came home.

Firstly, my mum tell me to eat this and that tml when Im going to do my esther fast and start my fried food fast all over again. This means that I've to squeeze everything into my small little stomach other than the fruits tml morning before I reach sch. I feel like eating her up lah.

Secondly, my mum acted so weirdly when I came home. She kept nagging at home to bath and when I came out, I found my notebook out of my bag and on the ground.

Super sian can. But actually who cares.

God's love is cant be describe by mere words and Im not good at words anw.

2007-03-31T22:00:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHH! I accidentally break my fried food fast w/o knowing it myself until a few mins ago.

I went QQ to eat with the cg after svc and I broke it. super sian.

I think Im going to fast again next wk or what.

5th day alrdy and I actually broke it accidentally.

2007-03-31T00:55:00.000+08:00

Fourth day of fried food fast.

Im eyeing at that pack of stupid potato chips alrdy but Im not giving up.

I think Im gng to do a Esther fast next wk cos I seriously need a breakthrough and I need to connect to God.

Life is getting busier alrdy, frm sch to relationships to I dont knw what.

I think I didnt something wrong in sch today.

I chatted so happily with her crush and I dont even knw he is her crush until I went home and thought abt me.

Ahhh! She's dao-ing me now probably and she supposed to come for Easter.

What a silly mistake and a petty person.

BANG BANG BANG!

I hope my grandma will forget abt me ltr on so I can report for usher at 12pm and no need to think of excuses to leave.

[EDITED]

The love that God gave is what the world will nvr take away.

I cant understand why my sister walked away frm God again and again, frm fcbc to hoGc.

Three years of her christianity life, she walked away thrice.

So many times she just left me fighting there fighting that stupid po alone and sometimes even adding fuel to the fire.

I dont knw what's that supposed to mean but that has definately spoilt the devil's plan because thru all the difficult times, I've grown so much closer to God.

When Nelson asked me to fast and prayed with my sister on tuesday, I was super scared.

I've nvr prayed for sis in my whole entire life and that was a breakthrough, of cos I did it because Nelson was fasting with me.

However, on Tuesday night all on my mind was that if she ever come back, I might need to fight po all over again. super scary.

I may just fall if I've to fight po all over again.

Ahha, but this yr gna be different.

I called Ruoen and she assured me that what Im thinking will not happen.

I used to dream of the days that my sis will become very radical for God but that dream went away as tim€e passes.

I finally knw what God's talking abt when He says a tougher year but it's gna be a year of breakthrough.

2007-03-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

Third day of fried food fast!

Fasting is good, I no longer want to eat fried food. hahs.

Concentrate man!

Breakthrough!

2007-03-28T16:40:00.000+08:00

John 15:18-19

v18 "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.

v19 "If you were of the world, thw world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

I read that a few days ago. It just hit right onto my heart.

When you dont belong to the world, you belong to God.

And the love that God give is everlasting but the love that the world can give is just temporary.

Isnt that the verse that I need to hang on to this whole tough year?

2007-03-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

I seriously dont knw what's wrong everyone.

They seem to have ALOT of problems that have to do with pride and insecurity.

Im so glad that I've found God - my security.

I know that no matter how I look, be it fat short tall thin, God will still love me because His love is everlasting.

What's more, God has given me a family that I can always rely on. Even if all my friends in sch are all fakes, there's a place where I know that everyone else is real.

Im going on a fast frm fried food frm tml onwards for one week. hahs. Fried food give me pimples on my forehead which always distract me when I sit on my study table to study or read my bible. Ah ha, I need to keep my potato chips in my wardrobe cos someone else will eat it for me. hahs. FAST FAST FAST!

I'll love You till the day You stop loving me.

2007-03-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Weekends are always good! I love church!

Nelson super cool, he wants to bring my sister back to church. But my sister is such a idiot, what stupid excuse can she give Nelson for not coming back, be it c2 c3 or c4, we're still a church only under different cgl.

She just dont wna go thru the prosecutions, attack and what I call torture frm my mum. Cutting of pocket money may really be very bad but not eating can get you to lose weight. hahs.

Forget abt my sister for now.

Pastor How preached a very challenging sermon today which really make me wna go up a higher level to discipline myself for my personal life with God and to study very hard to glorify God.

I want to be part of the 300!

2007-03-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

The girls in class are really fake, I mean half of them and if you're in my class, you'll know which half.

I really feel sympathetic for her today. Yes I knw that she's angry over small matter but I guess she's not angry abt the matter but for the fact that her feelings were cheated.

Cheated by people whom she called friends and she love.

Well, people are weird, they can joke with the people they dislike yet completely ignore their friend.

I'm so glad that I made the right friends in class and in sch, always real though we've different taste.

2007-03-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

I finally got my laptop back after one week.

My stupid sister must be very happy that she spoilt my laptop and I've to sent it all the way to Jurong for repair.

Worst thing is that all the songs are gone and I spent a very long time to classified them as worship and praise, now all gone. But nvm, I can always get them back and my favourite songs are in my phone.

My mum just added me in msn and its super sian cos I cant put whatever I like on my msn nick unless I block my mum and she will question me.

But whatever, I still love God like nvr before.

I'm going to reach a higher level of fasting after my stupid flu.

This is the year that I really need to tap on God's strength cos this is a tougher year.

Woah, it's March alrdy and Im still here despite all the ping pong piang and I'll hold on all the way till december and freedom will come.

2007-03-13T00:49:00.001+08:00

Im feeling boxed out now. I dont like being at home, its super suppressing.

A merry-go-round is in my head right now.

Maybe tml after my medical appt I'll spent some time myself either shopping or studying while waiting for the cg to reach bedok. Aiya, the appt shld be one hr earlier.

My heart is aching like mad now. It's always the same old thing.

I hate it when my mum delibrately critisize Chistianity right in front of me knwing that it will just hurt so much.

I almost wanted to take a stroll after I bathed but I dropped the idea.

I'll always be loving God and bring radical no matter what's coming against me.

I'll nvr grow up to be like my mum, I wna grow up to be like Pastors.

2007-03-13T00:49:00.000+08:00

Im feeling boxed out now. I dont like being at home, its super suppressing.

A merry-go-round is in my head right now.

Maybe tml after my medical appt I'll spent some time myself either shopping or studying while waiting for the cg to reach bedok. Aiya, the appt shld be one hr earlier.

My heart is aching like mad now. It's always the same old thing.

I hate it when my mum delibrately critisize Chistianity right in front of me knwing that it will just hurt so much.

I almost wanted to take a stroll after I bathed but I dropped the idea.

I'll always be loving God and bring radical no matter what's coming against me.

I'll nvr grow up to be like my mum, I wna grow up to be like Pastors.

2007-03-12T17:38:00.000+08:00

I feel so caged up now, physically.

Im dying to be at Ignite to help out and the seminar.

Sometimes I really wish that Im a guy so that I'll have more freedom but then again, Im so glad to be a girl.

Anw, I'll surely be at Ignite tml by hook or crook.

I shld make use of this time at home to complete as much hmwrk as possible so my mum wont have anything to say if I continue to go out the next few days.$$

2007-03-11T02:11:00.000+08:00

Empty handed but alive in Your hands

I wonder why ppl could just walk away frm God like going out of a shopping mall.

I WILL NEVER.

Tougher year it might be but Im more than tougher.

When God you brings you it, He'll bring you thru it.

And I believe it.

2007-03-08T18:20:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS SUPER SIAN AGAIN because I've to go back for remedial during the hols in the morning and they actually falls on the days of IGNITE.

The worst part is I've two remedials on each day which left me with no choice to skip them and ANG WEE KHEE WILL DEFINATELY HAUNT ME IF I DONT GO because I ponned all of his remedial the last hols. hahs.

Anw, today was also a great day. I finally got my angbao frm my dad, ate sakae buffet which saves me my lunch and dinner money and also a hundred bucks frm him(actually I was only kidding when I ask for it but he gave it to me).

More money in my drawer and it's time for me to count my angbao. ha

2007-03-07T14:52:00.000+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

It's super sian now because I carelessly left my planner in sch AGAIN and all the records of my hmwrk is inside. Super sian.

Now I've to wait for some early bird to come online so I can do my history essay. SUPER SIAN

Maybe I shld get my hair cut first and I hope today is not cca day.

2007-03-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

The facial salon cheated my time and feeling today, stupid thing.

I think I've to spend some time on facial mask tml and a haircut on wed.

Anw, I like haircuts before the hols then I'll go to sch with my close to out of style hair. hahs.

I cant wait for the hols to come; usher duty after 425724875285 months, sentosa outing, ignite, sihui coming to my hse and revival meeting. Jam-packed hols but I LIKE!

Im super happy to I see all the days in my planner are filled up.

O's is arnd eight months away frm now and I seriously need to work very hard for each and every single common test & exams because that will determined my freedom.

I gna work very hard and ace my tests/exams to make the devil feel that tremedous piercing pain.

I've God with me but the devil dont. HAHA

2007-03-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

Who says church is boring and pastors are boring ppl?

Look at the picture belowHAHA. Pastor How is as young as us.

Pastors just rock so much.

-Photo with courtesy frm Eric's multiply

Actually I wanted to blog abt something else but Im not in the mood.

Anw, I almost lost my purse today, with my ez-link card and IC inside.

And the uncle of bus 24 SBS 193C very kind.

2007-02-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

Im hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

but it's not the time to eat now.

Im staring at the almond tarts right infront of my tv and yet I cant eat them because Im not a diet. No more junk food.

I've also eaten alot for lunch, I mean alot to me.

Bye, Im going back to my hmwrk

2007-02-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

I love being home alone all the time.

I can have all the freedom to do whatever I like.

I love sitting in the living room when no one is at home and worship God all I want.

I can plug in the ethernet line in my laptop as long as I want and nobody will disturb me.

Anw, I cant wait to graduate frm sec school. I've enough of my class alrdy; position status fame glory fake attention complicate.

And I love the sec ones alot, they super cute can despite the fact that Tracy's friend tried to act enthu to attract my attention but there's still true ppl who dont try to seek my attention like Joyce and Gwen. I think I'm gng to knw the class soon or rather them knowing me.

I think Im on the track of ponning cca again, it's super duper sian and time-wasting.

I finally finished my lunch and I feel like vomiting now. The lormaikay is super oily and I want wintermelon tea. Im going to eat some lemon. hahs

Amazing love How can it be

That You my King would die for me

2007-02-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

Darn my sister.
Darn my sister.
Darn my sister.
DARN MY SISTER.

seriously, i can't stand her lahhs.
just be gladful that is NewYear.
how much i wanted to shoot her back okays.
from NewYearEve to the First day of NewYear to the Second day of NewYear.
i've been tolerating her.

she act like she is the head of the family.
she act like everyone have to obey her.
she act like she is popular.
she act like everyone likes her.
actACT and ACT, theres no director, theres no audience.
too bad. no one is interested.
ohh, just shut your mouth up, i hate you.

scribbled away @ 6:03 AM

Written by some act dao act lian act style TWIT. You know who's that if you knw me. HAHAHAHA

2007-02-23T17:49:00.000+08:00

Thursday

The cg went to Marina South for Reunion Dinner.

We have alot of fun cooking and fellowshipping, and we were very amazed at how the man can use his bare hands to lift up the hot soup wok.

We also celebrated Yibin's birthday there; We did our usual, "Hey everyone, today is Yibin's birthday, let's sing him a birthday song" and we sang.

Everyone there turn and look at us but we didnt cared and Yibin even waved.

In sch, nobody will dare to shout that and the birthday girl/boy will run away.

While we were singing the birthday song.

Yibin blowing the candle.

Ruoen laughing after handing out the redemption voucher to Yibin, the voucher is very crap. hahs.

Act cute boy and act cute girl, that's what they call each other.

This silly boy wants to join Campus Superstar 2

They were debating that their own shirt was nicer

This is Sihui, my blur friend

2007-02-21T16:10:00.000+08:00

While others enjoy being complicated, being someone else, being fake,

I enjoy being simple, being myself, being true.

What a pity that ppl think that's being stupid.

Two years of nightmare in the class of what's opposite of the name - Integrity, the class nvr live up to that.

Telling the teacher:" Hey teacher, you gave me points for the wrong answer that I've written." Easy task to me, difficult to others.

Being competitive to acheive status and fame will eventually lead people to a downfall.

I rather keep my mouth shut and not let ppl knw the good results of my tests/exams than to blow my own head.

Complication is never good.

If you ever think that me loving God is stupid, time-wasting and throwing my very own future into the big sea,

I've got to tell you that, "Hey friend, I'll nvr exchange my integrity for that one tweeny weeny mark." God is always bigger than that big sea.

If you think that the reason that I start to work so hard for my results is fame and glory,

I can only say that it's fame and glory to God.

And if you think that I'm crazy,

yes, I am. I'm crazy over Jesus.

I'm not playing hard to get or being dao but sometimes I've to keep a distance frm you.

I get all ur hints but I dont need ur love.

And you're not the type of guy that I'll fall in love with, I mean NEVER.

I dont like the way you talk to me, not even the way you try to care for me.

More than that, I find it irritating when I saw ur name appearing on my mobile and ur msn nick popping out at my screen telling me that you spoke to me.

You dont get whatever I mean and I didnt want to confront you.

If you still dont knw, I love Jesus and church is my family.

2007-02-17T00:51:00.000+08:00

I cant help but I knw I'm missing church and fellowship yet at the same time, I hope that the hols of cny will last longer so I wont need to go to sch.

The mean teachers gave us tons of homework to be completed during cny.

Anw, I knw I'm ranting alot on my blog but it's my blog.

I hope that I can grow taller by 1cm this year. hahs. So it will be like I've counted, 1cm every yr to 18 and I'll be 160cm for the rest of my life.

Short? not for me. I enjoy being short.

I mean like you can wear very high heels like those 3-4 inches one. Short is good. Gentlemens will tend to treat you better because they think you need help.

Ha ha ha, get it?

Anw, I planned to wear heels that's arnd 3.5 inches during my wedding(provided my husband is tall).

2007-02-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

vfsugadkubgdkjgfbjhdkbgakjgaskjablguakl

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant stand my mum and my sis, they're so freaking annoying.

I feel like throwing my laptop at them but they're not worth my laptop.

Going home practically spoil my whole lovely day, I shld say going back to hse instead of home.

No wonder nothing could bring me away frm Jesus

Suddenly I miss Pastors so much. I love my spiritual family!

2007-02-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA! Im a mugger. I memorized stuffs for my history test!

2007-02-12T20:17:00.000+08:00

I hate my family. I wish I can grow up super duper fast.

They were nvr fair to me, always cooking up lies to get things in their way.

They only think of themselves and their world revolve arnd only arnd "me". In the end, I've to suffer because of their selfishness.

They're too disgusting for me to get close to.

2007-02-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

I feel so high now!!

Hahs, weekends always make me feel so good.

I'm so glad that I skipped CIP today though I knw that there might be punishment.

But that's worth to exchange for that little chat with Zhiyang at the mrt station, to eat lunch with Yanghui Yibin Travis Junyang, TO GO FOR SVC, to see Travis jumping & worshipping during svc and to have dinner with CG. hahs.

I'm so happy that God sees what I'm doing, be it good or bad.

Anw, I like babies, toddlers and young kids alot. They're so cute and innocent.

I just look at my baby photos and I nvr pose for any of the photo and it's all just so natural.

2007-02-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

I dont like to new blogger. I've to sign in when I wna blog.

Probably I'll go back to using multiply.

Im so slpy now.

And it's saturday alrdy!

So cute right? That's me!

2007-02-07T00:04:00.000+08:00

YAWNSSSSSSSSSS.

Im supposed to be memorizing my biology stuffs now but well..

I tidied up my wardrobe just now, disturbed ppl on the msn and starred into my mirror. hahs.

I really cant stand the pimples growing on my face esp on the forehead, its so horrible.

I miss my old complexion, im gna make it back to how it used to be.

Everyone is having common test this wk, so boring can.

2007-02-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

It's all that family thing which I really hate it.

Without their love, I'll still go on it life.

It's too late to secure me with words because I'm so secured in God's love.

He's my almighty Daddy

2007-02-04T02:54:00.000+08:00

I wonder why ka xin guo have to be named this way. As if they'll make you happy when you eat it.

I went to the living room to print some worksheets and I ended up eating ka xin guo.

Weekends always make me smile. I just love church so much.

Im still contemplating if I shld go for CIP next sat. I knw there's sunday svc, but fellowshipping is impt too.

I cant understand how ppl can just skip svc for sch stuffs.

And I dont like my sch, I wonder why they must force us to do CIP and its not even in the curriculum. I can go to NLB and do CIP to fulfill my CIP hours.

Just now some nonsense boy make me on my webcam when my facial mask was on my face.

And after half an hr, he KO-ed without telling me. stupid boy.

Anw Gurvin if you ever see this. Im so glad that you choosed to stay with God despite the very bad situation. Throughout all this time, God has always been ur shelter.

Rmb the promise we made last yr? I want to see it come to pass.

2007-02-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

I wna eat mango sorbet!

2007-02-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry if I ever cause you to fall in love with me.

I knw I've a tendency to send the wrong msg all the time but it was something that I couldnt control.

Probably all of you got the wrong msg.

I tried my best to be cold or dao at times so that you'll not harp on the wrong msg you received.

You judged me by my cover but Im not the girl that you can possess.

It's friday finally. Im so looking forward to saturday every wk cos it's svc.

Anw, take the sch bus tour ltr!

And my dad just added me on msn. hahs

2007-01-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

I seriously dont knw what's wrong with you.

You made use of me yet I nvr say anything.

Im not ur only friend, you can jolly well go claim ur shirt with any of them but yet you made me go with you just because they didnt want to.

You took me as a so called shelter when ur friends didnt wanted to help.

I could just flare up at you if it was 2 yrs ago. I planned my day and yet you came to crash it just because there was remedial.

Hello, you're not the only one who's tired.

I've got tons of stuff to do okay.

So many times I give in to you and yet you nvr appreciate and you critisized my God and my religion.

And as much as I tried to defend, you said that I was trying to kick up a fuss and ask for a quarrel.

You've nvr see the world like how I used to see. Naive, indecisive, irresponsible and insecure is the word that I can only use to describe you.

You aint happy when I got close to the other ppl in class and you tried to make me dislike them. But too bad.

Probably our friendship will nvr continue after the secondary sch years because you're that influence that I nvr want.

Faithfulness, loyalty, friendship, integrity is all what my life revolves arnd but probably sch grades is what ur life revolves arnd.

2007-01-28T16:14:00.000+08:00

Check freed0mattitude.multiply.com out!

Okay, actually that's close to nothing there. Im just happy that I finally found my multiply acc.

I used to blog there before I knw how to use blogger. hahs.

Well, I've deleted all the photos and blog posts there.

Probably that was the past that I dont want to be reminded of anymore. All the details were there.

Im those kind of person who nvr look at my posts after I post it.

Actually I dont have anything to blog abt though I've alot of things on my mind. But I just dont knw how to espress them in words.

Or they'll just come out like a mess that many ppl dont understand. hahs.

So, dont mind me bring dao at times cos I really got nothing to say or I dont knw how to say them.

2007-01-25T18:58:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!

Seriously, I dont knw why I joined bball in the first place. Super sian can.

If not because of the sec 1s, I'll nvr go for training again.

But well, I really want to knw as many sec 1s as I can.

I really really really hate training okay plus I lost my dear skirt today.

Im not the first one whose skirt was stolen and Im very sure that my skirt was stolen because I folded it nicely and place below my shorts and my shorts and blouse was there after we came back frm classroom blk yet my skirt disappeared.

Anw, we got a new coach. I hope he will be coaching us every thursday cos I'll only go for trainings on thursday.

I like his style of training us though all the girls hated it.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, SOMEONE THOUGHT THAT IM YOUNGER THAN MY AGE. EVERYONE THOUGHT THAT IM SEC ONE JUST BECAUSE I WORE PE ATTIRE TO TRAINING.

I still hate the fact that my skirt was stolen. My mum tell me to get a new one but its so troublesome, need to go buy and alter.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2007-01-24T17:03:00.000+08:00

Everytime when my classmates ask me abt you, they reminded me of those happy times we have and it's so difficult to tell them that you're on drugs and cig.

We were as close as sisters, we share secrets and even play tricks on each other. But we were nvr angry at each other.

Then agn, it was so heartbreaking to see you betraying urself, doing all the things that hurt all of us who used to be ur closest sisters.

You disappoint us time and time again but we nvr give up on you. However, you gave up on urself and you gave us up to status and power.

It's now so difficult to talk to you anymore because all that came out was vulgarity, sex and drugs.

But that last thing that we ever can do is to hate you.

I wonder if you'll ever lead ur old simple life agn but I pray that it will happen.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This wk has been very busy. Tests, tuition and cca, believe it or not, Im going back to bball FOR ONCE to get my cca card.

I hope that tml the coach wont appear and yet Mrs.Thomas will give me my cca card cos I waited for her. hahs.

I cant wait for the weekends to come. hahs

2007-01-22T00:59:00.000+08:00

The heart to love, the abilities to evangelise and integrate. That's for 2007.

2007-01-20T23:56:00.001+08:00

Today was a very great day!

Firstly, the birthday celebration that I enjoyed myself. And of cos that stupid chicken and banana that I drawn.

Secondly, pig gave me a doraemon pencil case. Actually she wanted to buy me my childhood fav - Bobdog but too bad, she cant find it. But doraemon is cute too.

And of cos, the highlight of the day....SERVICE!

What Pastor said was totally true.

After svc, the talk with Ivan was totally awesome. An idea just hit me that what I can do with the sec ones since my name is getting hotter amongst them.

Lastly, I got the best birthday card that I ever receive. hahs. I love it man. Its very very very cool!

But I lost my caculator. I cant find it anywhr at home. Hope its at home or in sch and not stolen. Caculator, pls pop-up tml, Im desperate for you. hahs.

I'm loving

2007-01-19T22:34:00.000+08:00

Sch had been very tiring this week.

Tons of homework after homework and remedial started.

Anw, the sec ones are real cute lah. There's this two girls named Cheryl and Joscelin frm 1F that knw me according to Tracy but I dont knw them. hahs. I shall find out who they are.

I jogged for 2 days and I got muscleache on my thighs. At least better than pig's. hahs.

TP visit was quite cool but I still cant find the way to the job I want. What I want is to be a gynae, is specialise course.

I made friends with the guides today. And Lex the man make fun of my small eyes when his is also small. dumbo. I can be quiet or talkative. It depends. hahs.

Tml is Saturday. Im finally going to get my piano results but that's not impt. I still cant decide if I wna continue but surely not this yr, probably after Os.

Im so slpy now. My eyes are three quarter close or probably close.

Im so excited abt svc tml!

2007-01-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

I cant stand my mum anymore.

She's more than irritating and annoying, she's dont have the qualities to parent children.

She cant even carry out what she always teach.

Everytime I repeat something again, I'll get a scolding.

What about her? Every now and then, she will tell me that I'm fat and my thighs are big.

Hey, as if I didnt knw that. The govt has been emphasizing on that so much and I can see for myself.

Well, she said that like twice a wk and I've the right to get irritated and flare up.

She cannot even realise that all the words that came out frm her mouth are words that cut.

Something disasterous shld happen at home so that she'll wake up frm the dream that causes others nightmare.

She shld be very glad that her daughter is love and searching for love at the right places instead of opposing me going to church.

If it wasnt for that invitation to church in June05, I'll probably be some hard to handle smoking, drinking teenager because at that time I was having a date that didnt last and I was so close to smoking and piercing. What's more, at that time I was fighting with bulimia.

I really cant tahan her anymore.

If it wasnt for God, I would probably have been dead now because the way she treat me will drive me to suicide but I'm a Christian. Commiting suicide will just mean that I'm murdering myself.

2007-01-13T00:50:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone!

I'm back finally. Hahs.

Sch has been so tiring that I collasped. Yeah, I fell ill. Hahs.

More than sch, it's the weather. 2 months and I finally fall ill, at a very wrong time. zzz.

I need to slp soon. hohoho.

2007-01-05T18:03:00.001+08:00

School started and the teachers are trying to kill us.
Sch ends ltr esp friday, remedial starts next wk, notes have to be printed by ourselves due to some paper-saving exercise. Wah piang eh. The sch is trying to save money on the papers.
i feel so sec 4 now, so much hmwrk to do.
Anw, the sec 1s are so adorable.
I'm quite happy that they're like me, SHORT! unlike the sec 2s and 3s, they're so tall the first day they came in.

2006-12-30T03:49:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday tml! Haha.
One year has past so fast, really very fast.
I hope next yr will pass faster, like very very fast.
I just want that freedom.

2006-12-24T19:34:00.000+08:00

Christmas is gna be here soon.

As an average teenager, my dad thought that I'm partying now but NO!

No alcohol okay. I'm at my uncle's hse rotting.

My mum is going Vietnam, Ho Chin Min on the 29th.

She didnt tell me it was Ho Chin Min, she only told me Vietnam.

HCM is a place for shopping okay, now she tell me its my own fault.

But who cares. I'm not going to go tell and suffer frm those prosecutions and personal attacks.

I'm exchanging that for a day in His hse. =)

5 days of freedom again. And they're returning on the 2nd, like so tired, next day still have sch.

My bday is coming, I'm excited abt my IC. Hahs.

I'm very excited abt next yr too!

2006-12-20T15:20:00.000+08:00

Hello world!

I'm blogging again, at cjx's hse. Hahs.
I'm so bored now, suppose to teach that lazy pig maths but then she havent bath yet. HAHA.
Just now went church and yangyi style my hair and I smell of hair spray now. hahs.
Christmas is coming soon! And so is my birthday!
Okay, anw, I got nothing to blog. Hahs.
My dad is buying a laptop for birthday and we havent even have a look at it. Hahs.
Maybe getting after birthday. Hahs.

2006-12-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

I'm at cjx's hse agn. Hahs.
We met with a heavy rain and were three quarter wet with an umbrella. Hahs.
I decided to go to her hse cos we were still at bugis at 11pm due to that dumb rain and 133 goes directly to her hse.

I feeling quite uneasy now not because I'm at her hse. BUT JUST..
Not very happy. I realised that I've missed out alot of activities this hols and I suddenly feel so empty.
You knw like when you hear that ppl are serving, growing and stuff. You feel so like the good old days.
Though this period at home is not very bad, but it's still bad.
I miss svc, vbs, 24, ushering, cafe etc like mad okay.
I'm gna start the other round of pestering after this hols cos I dont want my mum to suspect anything for now.
Bye!

2006-12-18T18:01:00.000+08:00

My house com crashed! Hahs.
Some idiot insisted that I downloaded something that cause it when she was the one who LAST downloaded something.
She's just too desperate to use the com. Hahs.
And no one actually bothered to call up acer for some help. Hahs.

Anw, holidays are soon to be over. Hahs.
This holidays is quite great except for the fact that I missed out alot of church.
But God is everywhere! Hahs.
Bye, I dont feel like writing anymore!

2006-12-12T20:43:00.000+08:00

I'm going to explode soon! I've tahan for so long alrdy.

I'm like a time bomb now, if you give me a pillow and screwdriver, the pillow will be gone.

2006-12-10T18:17:00.000+08:00

"When you're down to nothing, God is up to something."

That's the quote that I really need right now. Luckily cwk posted it on his blog and it reminded me.

I hate to have a slack life, so boring. I passed by church twice last wk. I miss rushing to church all the time for usher and cafe duty.

2006-12-07T02:10:00.000+08:00

I need money! My pumps are all spoil, all at almost the same time, that leaving me with my super high heels.

My mum bought me a pair of polka dots pumps the other day but have to wait until new year. She nvr realise all my heels are spoil alrdy.

So today I bought a pair of white pumps for 29.90 and after that I saw a pair of black wedges for 19.90. zzz. That black wedges is so much nicer though and I need black footwear since my black pumps died. I knw I'll be back an usher. Perhaps shld just use my savings. hahs.

Siok and I realise that ****** had backslided. aww.

I couldnt understand why ppl can just backslide after being so on-fire for so long and even hearing Pastor's sermon on whr's demas.

I'm angry and disappointed.

So many of us have to fight for that freedom to go to church and serve yet ppl who have so much freedom choose to backslide or be lukewarm.

They could just forget abt the times that they fought so hard, their unsaved friends and family, siblings-in-Christ, leader, pastors and most imptly God.

I rmb that very first time my mum wanted to stop me frm church, I kept thinking abt the revival in mayflower, it wont happen if I really give up.

I see so many of us fighting like crazy yet ppl could just give up easily.

They get tired by going thru the same routine but you knw what, I rather do that.

They forget abt the times that they fought so hard to be in church, they go thru all the prosecutions that were thousand times tougher then doing wrk.

At the end of the day, it was their life that they choose.

2006-12-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

Advertisment on AIDS is EVERYWHERE.

I cant really understand the older generation or probably the society too. Why they have to look at the AIDS patient with a spank in their eyes.

AIDS is a disease no different from heart disease, cancers, kidney failure etc.

You get AIDS because you had casual sex, share needles with ppl etc.

You get heart diseases because you over-eat, you get lung cancers because you smoke and stuffs like that.

The society is disgusting. Ppl can spend a hundred thousand dollars on treatment for heart diseases, cancers and kidney failure yet they prosecute AIDS patients.

AID wont spread so easily for goodness sake, even my mum is not convinced.

Because of all this stubborn ppl who is super kiasi, the govt have to spend tons of money to educate and convince them that AIDS WONT SPREAD SO EASILY and at the end of the day they complain that the govt waste their money.

There goes the same for ex-convicts esp the younger ppl.

Many a times, they just couldnt control themselves, they learn frm their mistake alrdy during their rehabitation.

If we dont give them a chance to work, they will commit that stupid crime agn.

I cant understand why ppl have to think that way but I cant though my mum always scold me for being stupid.

I've always felt for the ex-convict ever since I saw the yellow ribbon thing. If I'm a employee, I'll hire a ex-convict who is willing to work hard for my company instead of someone with the same qualification but lazy.

As for the AIDS, it's because I saw the newspaper report on saturday abt the things going on.

I'm not happy okay and I mean it.

If I've a friend who contracted AIDS, I'll treat him/her like normal and I'm willing to be that pillar of support for them.

However, I wont marry someone with AIDS because I want to be fruitful and multiply, condom is not hundred percent safe.

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it." - C.S Lewis

Jesus love everyone!

2006-12-05T02:52:00.000+08:00

Im so angry with blog-ers who lock their blog esp those prompt that cant be close or wont direct to another web. So stupid okay. Like what's the point of having a blog, telling ppl to link you and yet lock it, might as well dont have. Same goes to friendster users. These ppl are simply extra.

Anw, I went to trim my hair today, it's so cool now but I left my hair-clip in my mum's car, zzz.

I think I've been dreaming too much that sometimes I dont knw what things actually really happened. All the things I dream are all realistic okay; like buying lychee ice blend frm amk bubble shop on a hot day, someone helping me to do something abt my slippers, WON PO, training home with melvin, eric, xiaoyu, peishan and weitze, discipleship frm jieru, doing usher duty etc.

I dont knw what I'm dreaming of actually, seems so real.

Okay, enough of nonsense. Time for bed!

2006-12-03T11:11:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging like alot of times per day.

I didnt slp the whole night and my mum pester me to go trekking, uber tired now. And I'm going to outram with her. grrrrr.

My mum is trying to be posessive nowadays, dragging me here and there. She wants to bring me to cut my hair at kovan and she wna buy her body shop thing. grrrrr. Tml is monday okay, which means bball day. She did it on purpose. But that wont make me wna go church lesser.

God is a God of details. He made me agree to go trekking to let me learn something, hear things that He wna relate it to my circumstances. When I was bathing just now, God spoke to me, things abt myself, things abt what I'm going thru, reasons for things that happened. I'm convince, fully convince.

I LOVE YOU DADDY!

I fight not only for God and freedom but I fight for what I want.

YEE

2006-12-03T03:33:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD!

I realise I've been posting alot of nonsense nowadays and ppl actually read them, I dont even read them.

Anw, I guess not slping at all isnt a very good choice to make. I didnt slp on friday or rather for only 4hrs and I slept for like 14hrs on saturday which includes frequent wakes due to dry throat.

I seriously need new clothes and heels because I'm almost wearing the same thing all the time. All my heals have broke down. And my very kiasu mother told me that all the clothes and heels that I buy frm now have to be kept until CNY. That means if I really need new clothes and heels, I've to folk out money and buy it and I really have like no extra money other than coins worth of 30 bucks unless I stay home all day.

Btw, my mum signed me up for tuition, english and amaths. So sian okay. She's like super kiasu.

That's all for now. I cant think of more nonsense to blog abt.

2006-12-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it." - C.S Lewis

That's why we're so precious in God's eyes.

2006-12-01T05:04:00.000+08:00

I'm online agn because I tried to slp at three but my room was too cold. I was trying my best to slp with a blanket on but I kept sneezing. I gave up slping, hahs. I was feeling cold and hungry.

I want to eat something luh, 45 more mins to tahan. I'm on this stupid diet thing that prevent frm gaining weight so I decided not to eat anything frm 8pm to 6am.

It doesnt really work like last time anymore. Even with my retainers on to vivo with cjx, I managed to eat something, gelare's ice cream! What a pig I'm. And I drank a cup of hot cereal just now because I was feeling very cold.

Anw I went vivo with cjx ytd night cos she wanted to buy facial mask, we wore so funny-ly. Saw Alden and Dan at srgn mrt but didnt greet each other, hahs, so not me. Anw, they were funny guys okay. Alden stared at me for like ten steps but didnt do anything and I couldnt confirm that was him until he went down the stairs because my contacts were blur. Dan saw me when I was walking down the stairs and he walk up the stairs when he can see that someone was walking down. So we stared at each other until we walk pass each other.

Btw, the whole world stared at me until I reached vivo okay. I wore as if I'm meeting my stead and took the train in the wrong direction.

VIVO IS VERY BORING OKAY. I took less than 3hrs to travel to vivo, walk arnd, sit down and eat and train and walk home.

Okay I realise this is a very boring post like dont knw what but I'm seriously very bored now to post a very boring post.

2006-11-30T03:50:00.000+08:00

Fungus infection is disgusting. It's spreading all over my body now, from my neck to my chin to my chest to my arm and back. The doctor say it will take two wks to heal but I think it's getting worst.

Anw, I look like a housewife when I tie my hair up, HAHA. It's time to minimize the volume of my hair cos it's starting to curl.

I missed church like dont knw what. My mum still dont want to sign the consent form. grrrr. God still rocks. Whilst I was watching goong ytd morning, God suddenly reminded me of something that I almost forget. hahs. At the end of the day, I'm still that little girl who will cry. HAHA.

2006-11-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

I wish she would just disappear frm my life like she was nvr born. Anw, I came to this world first.

She came and took away all the attention that everyone else gave me. That left me broken but life still carry on because no one bothers to look at me until the day I met my Saviour.

He's love, He loves, He cares like no one will ever but that ding-dong tried to break it all.

I'm so sick of everything. This house that make my breathing so difficult. Everyday I'm living more than grasping air.

I cant imagine myself collasping, walking like a walking zombie everyday. HAHA. That wont happen I guess.

I can smell freedom!!

2006-11-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

So my house wasnt a place that I shld be in, it's just a house, cold like a coffin.

Perhaps I shldnt even care.

Because to get that chance to dwell in His house with His ppl, I used all I could but too bad.

Throw in the towel will nvr be something I'll do because the more I fight for what I want, the more I dont feel like giving up.

It's a tough long fight, I knw but who cares.

2006-11-24T06:08:00.000+08:00

I'm uber hungry now. I want to eat mac breakfast luh, even since the day Mr.Chooweekiat called mac delivery, wonder what sort of weird craving is this, last so long okay.

Most of the time, I just couldnt wake up before 11am. Or I cant stay up till 6.30am. But, I did stayed up to 8am ytd but my mum nagged me to bed. And so, there goes my mac breakfast.

Anw, I think I'm slping soon. My eyelids are going to cover, it makes no difference actually.

(Anw, I blogged nonsense because I didnt want to think too much, so much that I may just throw in the towel)

2006-11-20T15:19:00.000+08:00

*yawn* I'm so slpy now but I cant slp if not I'll wake up at 8pm then I wont have to slp tonight.

Today will be a very energy-draining day or rather it has alrdy been.

I slept when the sun rised and woke up at 8.45am to swim with Joanne at YCK. I swam 12 laps, it's something to be proud of for some lazy ppl like me who eat and nvr exercise.

After that went to polyclinic to see what's wrong with my face, it fungus infection. yucks. It's getting more and more. Oh, I better go apply my medication now.

Yeah, I seem to be losing my appetite today. I drank a cup of bubble tea and 1/3 of a pack of rice and I'm like very full.

I'm supposed to be practising my piano now but it was very stuffy just now so I stopped.

I'm going to play bball ltr and pack my stuffs for tml. ah, what a tiring day.

2006-11-18T02:01:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's difficult not to cry

sometimes it's difficult to say NO

sometimes it's difficult to say YES

sometimes it's difficult to not think to much

sometimes it's difficult to have faith

sometimes it's difficult to talk

sometimes it's difficult to keep quiet

sometimes it's difficult to be holy

sometimes it's difficult to lay down my pride

sometimes it's difficult to breakthrough

sometimes it's difficult to do anything

2006-11-17T05:59:00.000+08:00

HAHA. I'm super hungry now. I'm craving for prawn noodle, mac breakfast and roti prata.

Anw, it's close to 6am now and I havent slp yet. I wonder why ppl are so haolian when they post at 3.12am. hahs. I feel like slping now but I knw the moment I lie on my bed, I'm tossing here and there.

Okay, I'll make a point to wake up by 12pm ltr cos I want to buy my prawn noodle.

Yesterday went out with cjx. We went OG at bugis for the first stop, that was the only place we really shopped. I saw alot of things that I wna buy frm there.

Heels - $36.90

Maybeline Expert Loose Powder - $23.90

Loreal Smooth Foundation - $29.90

Purse - $33.90 (you'll kill me if you see the purse)

Anw, I dont knw that OG sells things so expensive. Actually the purse that I wanted look like $10-$15 only and the heels look like $25-$30.

And we shopped so auntie-ly

Something happy here, cjx's mum is attending church for a few wks alrdy. hahs. And when she break the news to cjx's dad, she sounds like as if she's committing adultery -.- My mum will be in church one day, it's gna come to pass.

2006-11-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

I'm almost broke now. I've been spending most of my money on food this weekend, like $24 bucks from friday until sunday and its only for dinner.

I think I'll grow fatter but that's not the point, I'll be eating into my savings.

I feel so disgusted right now. I've been wasting my time away, like wah piang eh. I hate it alright. Everyone else can see the good of church, only my mum cant. I feel so not right being not in church. grrrrrrrrrrrr

I just realise that I got tons of things I need money for, like tithing, team fund, swimwear, jeans, footwear and the most unnecessary cosmetics. Hahs. And I think my dad gna buy me laptop for my bday. I really hope so. Then I can do my things in my own room instead of rushing home so that I can use the pc. And can use it to do QT also. yeah!! But have to depends. hahs.

2006-11-10T04:52:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHH! I really feel like sleeping now but the moment I lie on my bed, I keep thinking of things.

I want to swim tml luh but most probably I cant wake up on time without the need to meet someone because my swimming partner is down with period. And soon it will be mine. I hope its on a weekend cos I hate to swim on a weekend. It's so crowded and you cant have space of ur own.

Oh man, I cant imagine how many kgs will I gain during this hols with my disgusting, irregular eating frequency.

I'll try my very best to wake up at 8am to swim.

Anyway, my neighbour is quite interesting. They have those red thing that you use to burn incrense paper and a few months back, they pasted a quite big sticker that says "PRAISE THE LORD" on the gate. Hahs. One day I shall take a photo of it man. Hahs.

I chatted with my neighbour today. Anw, there's like 4 person in my neighbour's house. I still cant take what he said, " Ta kan qi lai xiang shi na zhong yao zao nan peng you de", in other words - desperate. Luckily that wasnt abt me. hahs. Anw, he's abit weird. He keep laughing at me for dont knw what reason and he smoked two cig in like an hour. If it wasnt for the fact that he offered me drink and I didnt finish it, I would have leave earlier. And the fact that I so wanted to reach out to him, I wouldnt stay and take in 2nd hand smoke. It will turn into an addiction and I think I'm addicted. So stupid, I'll overcome it by this weekend. HAHA.

2006-11-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

Because stopping me from church doesnt mean stopping me from loving Jesus

2006-11-05T03:05:00.000+08:00

NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR!

IM BOILING LIKE A WOK OF BOILING OIL THAT YOU CAN FRY CHICKEN WING WITH.

IM NOT GOING TO CARE WHAT"S GNA HAPPEN, JUST TO ALL OUT TO DO WHAT I WANT!

IM ALRDY PISSED OFF WHEN THE PSI INDEX DROPS, I ALSO DONT KNW WHY IM SO HAPPY WHEN IT IS MISTY.

I THINK THE PPL AT HOME ENJOYS IRRITATING ME.

2006-11-03T03:17:00.000+08:00

You cant blame me for being cold at times, I'm not perfect.

I LOVE JESUS, so what? That's a fact.

I dont knw what's wrong with ppl, it seems like they enjoy hurting me. Hurting me even when they can see that it hurts, that much.

Ppl are selfish, I agree. Because of their insecurities, I've to bear the pain. That's not fair.

Many thinks that I'm wasting my time in church, that's NOT a fact.

I thought I could close one eye and take it that I cant see anything happening esp at home. But the I saw how biased my mum is and how selfish my family is.

She cant see how much pain she placed on me since young till now. She cant see that what I'm is what she made to be.

Many a times, I couldn't help but cry. Cry for that freedom that I yearn for, that pain inside of my heart.

I'm a girl and my heart is not make with metal, it's glass.

2006-11-02T18:52:00.000+08:00

I like the way my house is when everyone else is not at home, I wish they were overseas forever. But that wont happen.

2006-10-31T01:37:00.000+08:00

everytime when I'm weary

You give me reasons to believe

Fellowship is fun! Its our roots that hold us strong during the storms. I love my roots!

Went Koon's house today, I had fun! Kiat and Siok nvr study in the end cos we played the guitar, stacko and dumb. We didnt stop playing. And we messed up Koon's room. Hahs.

I intended to play bball at Yishun with the guys but I was too lazy to do so in the end. Hahs.

Its such great joy being in the company of these ppl cos I can be myself and do all the unglam things. Hahs.

Okay, I miss svc and cg dinner so much. I feel so uneasy not being in church during the wkends.

2006-10-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

I'm desperate for You, everything.

2006-10-26T11:16:00.000+08:00

I couldnt help but hate the fact that ppl like to show off without realising it.

Its no big deal getting into IP, having alot of dogs at home or even getting to go Africa. And I completely shut off when ppl show off something that I lost, like serving in a ministry. I'm just being nice smiling though it hurts right inside. Its no fun. It wasnt completely my fault.

2006-10-23T02:09:00.000+08:00

I love you Eminence!

You're my first usher team that I ever bond so close with.

I gna miss serving with all of you. Peishan, Darryl, Aaron, Jomain, Weekiat, Miaow Guan, Linjie and the rest.

You all made me love ushering even more and getting excited for the next duty all the time.

Though Eminence is losing almost all its original ushers, I'll always rmb all of you in my heart.

All the fun, joy, laughter and discipleship, I love them all.

Thnks for being my roots. Because of you, I've become ready to be channelled out.

I'll miss every part of ushering with you all esp pulpit water and offering for stage.

Go all out for every duty and when Eminence win the usher team challenge, I want a part of the prize.

And, I have never take anyone of you for granted, not even the routines that I do.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you Eminence.

Thnks for all the memories =)

2006-10-22T00:23:00.000+08:00

I feel like screaming, yelling and shouting at the top of my voice but I cant because the police will come.

I hate mixed emotions. Argh!!

I love my Pastors and everyone else in church.

2006-10-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

I really feel like giving up the fight and declare my defeat.

But no I cant. There's a voice in my heart that have been holding me back.

It keeps echoing into my mind, "No, you cant. You have fight so long and so much, just awhile more and the victory is urs. God love you so much."

There's a thousand million things running in my mind right now.

I feel like not going sch tml because everything else is so frustrating.

2006-10-14T00:48:00.000+08:00

one day in Your house is better than a thousand days in the world

Dont you just think so? Hanging out in church until 10pm that's because I cant go home so early. Want to knw why? Ask me personally because it's a long story.

I love Jesus! *dance arnd..

I enjoy going home with ppl. Hahs.

Going home with Melvin, Kinonn, Weitze, Minyang, Xiaoyu and Minyang is funny. And I was part of their joke thnks to Kinonn. Asking me stupid qn like, 'What does Honghwee do at home when he was young'. What nonsense.

Anw, my mum is going overseas with my sis in like five days time.

Total freedom for eight or nine days. I'm excited. *dance arnd.

2006-10-13T13:45:00.000+08:00

you made stand all alone in the war fighting the devil.

you enjoyed the victory and claim it to yourself. yet when I lost the war, you walked away and blame it all on me.

I've did almost everything that I could but you did nothing.

you always thought its that easy on me but it wasnt at all.

you're a betrayer in my troop and you hid urself behind a mask, a mask that you would rather live with though its full of holes and scar.

I always hope that you'll just walk away frm my life but that will nvr happen because we're bonded by blood.

I stood there and fought all alone with my life just for our lives and destiny

you nvr knw how tough it was because you nvr fight before.

even if you betray me at the worst point of my life causing me to lose everything, I'll continue fighting because behind me there will always be ppl holding onto me.

my roots have grown deep enough to hold me through so many storms, in fact typhoon and earthquakes.

though I've harden my heart towards you but I nvr want to see you walk away frm God because deep down I knw only God can change you.

I nvr knw if I'll ever get to see you at the finishing line but I'll be at the finishing line for sure even if I'm the last. if you nvr run out of the tracks today and got disqualified, good luck then. bye.

2006-10-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

IT IS FINISHED! Finish, finish, finish.

I can finally stop mugging for 2 months, I nvr mug so hard in my life before man.

It was such a struggle.

Anw, I went shopping today! Paid the money for that bag I want. Cheryl bought the same one as me in the end. The shop only have 2 bags of a kind. We didnt wanted to take the display set, actually I rejected it. I cant possibly give ppl what I dont want. Since I'll be going to dhoby ghuat the next few days, I can easily get claim it. I cant wait man! I bought a new purse today btw. It's flower and ribbons!

I really really really hate PO very very much.

Ytd after I logged off, Ruoen sms me to call her. Pst How shortlisted 8 ppl to serve in children church and I'm one of them. I rejected that offer because it's on sunday morning and I cant go. Arghhhh! I was so sad. I always thought only adults/staffs/leaders can serve in children church though serving in children church means I cant serve in usher and cafe anymore. But that means that I'm ready to be deployed out. How I really wish my mum went Vietnam to work lor. One day I'm gna serve God w/o objection and with my everything. I'll grow up fast though sonetimes time really passes so slowly.

2006-10-10T14:04:00.000+08:00

Exams gna end tml. Finally!

Im gna buy my bag tml, waited for so long.

Im so in the holiday mood now. I feel like leaving my chem and physics aside but I cant. I've alrdy killed my biology. I need chem and physics to be in my L1R5.

Yeah. Thursday and Friday will be fun man!

And I cant wait for my mum to go overseas. Its like next wk only, then I'll have all the freedom that I want for one week. My grandma said that she'll let me go church all I want when my mum is not arnd. yeah!

2006-10-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

I hate it when everyone esle is in church and I'm home.

My mum is so NOT fair, my sis can go to out/church but not me. It's the same church, same cg and same pastors. What's the difference? Just because I'm more committed to God?

It make me so not in the mood for everything else. To think that she treat me like a little kid. Bring me out for ice-cream? It's not a big thing to me or to her. A cup of ice-cream is not even 5% of her daily wages and I can afford it myself. I'm not a cheapskate. A cup of ice-cream to exchange for my emotions. NO WAY!

I dont knw what my mum treat me as lah. From friends to basketball to attire to cosmetics to church, she nvr approved of any of it at all. She nvr knw, she was

the one who led me to ALL the suicidal thoughts from banging my head on the wall & edges of table to over-dozing of panadols to cutting my wrist just to get my hp back.

I hate it when everyone else at home is trying their BEST to rub salt into my wound. It's not my fault at all.

Sometimes I do regret that I didnt get my mum to work in Vietnam when she asked for my opinion. I only answered her with whatever.

Well, I'm not gna stop going to church. Thank God that I've the freedom to go shopping. Just some make-up and I dont look like I'm going to church.

2006-10-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

People often question me about my commitments to church and God.

They ask if it is worth to exchange my whole month of pocket money just to go church once a week or if it is worth to exchange my sleep for God. Sometimes they even persuade me not to go church during the weekdays.

Yet at times they envy me for having friends who will help me when I need they despite their busy-ness, having friends whom I'll go all the way to Yishun and play that few hours of bball and having friends who I can share everything with.

Others mug their head off the weekends to get good grades yet I spend my time in church. hahs.

Education is good, Pastors agree too! That's why we all have study rule. Without education, people wont listen to us. However, education cant change lives. But God can.

Pastor How once said, Education can teach humanities not humility, mathematics not morality, history not HIS story - the story of Jesus.

The reason why I never get panic, nervous, worry or anxious before a paper starts because I knw God is with me. hahs.

Exams gna be over real soon! And my mum is going overseas soon!

Overnight prayer meeting and ushering for adults svc, I can go for them all. yeah!